if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
