At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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