just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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