You're completely useless in the revolution.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
I told him it was alright.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.