God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
