Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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