I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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