i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
