Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
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