I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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