Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
