spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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