he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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