So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
