who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
