If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
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So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
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And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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