You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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