What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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