Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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