ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
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