How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
