you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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