shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
