I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize