i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You dont lie about slip and slides
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize