Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
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