hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
