I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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