I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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