we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.