just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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