I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
