omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
