I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
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