My room smells like vodka and shame
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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