After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
