The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
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The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I just googled if crying burns calories
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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