I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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