Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
