Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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