OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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