i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
