i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
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every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
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All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
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