Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i love accidental penises.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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