I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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