they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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