You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Randomize