Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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