I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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