Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize