I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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