man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
