I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
