The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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