You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
