No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
