i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
