i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
