It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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