For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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